KyuTeuk: Fireworks

Where the hell is he?

I looked around frantically at the crowded area.

I squirmed myself into the small spaces that people offered as they all glanced over head while they were "oohing" and "aahing" over the fireworks presentation that was going on.

Kyuhyun, where the hell are you?

I stopped at the clock tower once more and looked around. Still he wasn't there.

I remembered leaving a note for all the members at the dorm this morning. I knew it read 6:30 pm at the clock tower. It was almost 7pm. Everyone's already at the picnic area enjoying the sight. But I couldn't just sit around waiting for Kyuhyun to show up. I had to find him.

The last batch of fireworks were about to end. Soon, everyone will be leaving and moving around and it would be harder for me to locate him. I had to find him fast.

It wasn't because I couldn't find him at all that worried me. He knew his way home. The one thing that worried me was because I knew his aversion to large crowds. It was alright if we had our usual body guards or if we were all there with him. But I knew he was alone and if he was mobbed by this crowd...

No, I didn't want to think about it. He'll be fine, I kept on repeating it on my mind. We had our usual "secret getup" on. Hoods, face masks, specs... He'll be fine.

Aish... Of all the people to get lost, it was our maknae. Kyuhyun really needs to stick by me all the time.

I smiled. Funny how at this moment, how I'm already panicky, I still managed to smile at the thought of him being with me at all times.

People thought it was because of our leader-maknae relationship that I took care of him the most. And I know Kyuhyun thinks that too. But it isn't. To me, it's something else. Something much deeper than a leader-maknae relationship.

Of course nobody knew that. Kyuhyun didn't know that. If he did... If he found out...

I shook away those thoughts...I really need to think about something else.

Kyuhyun, where the hell are you?

* * * * *

Leeteuk-Hyung, where are you?

I shoved my hands inside my jacket as the night air seemed to get cooler. I was glad that many had their attention at the fireworks. If somebody recognized me and started screaming my name...

I shook my head. Get a grip, Kyuhyun. I scolded myself. You'll be fine.

I scanned around again. Didn't it say clock tower at 6:30 pm? I'm right here already. Where was everyone? Where was Teukie-Hyung?

Teukie-hyung... Why must I always look for him. I bonked my head and tried to forget him. Yeah, like that'll help me forget.

I know I should be looking for somebody else. Somebody closer to my age perhaps. But I wanted Teukie-Hyung. Why? I myself didn't know the answer. His presence was just very... comforting.

I bit my lip in frustration. I shouldn't be having these thoughts. I shouldn't even think about him in that way. Leeteuk-hyung is Leeteuk-hyung. Super Junior's leader. Super Junior's appa. Super Junior's main front man...

As for me, well, I'm just Super Junior's Maknae. Super Junior's Vocalist. Super Junior's Game Addict. Nothing more.

But sometimes, no matter how hard I beat myself down on this notion, Leeteuk-hyung comes to the rescue and treats me very well making me forget about those things.

I'm the first one he greets when comes home. I'm always his first choice when they need an extra DJ for Sukira and he was the one who pushed through the proposal that I was going to be the host for Foresight.

I knew, that to him, it was just a leader-maknae relationship. Something every leader should look out for was the maknae. And I just happened to be the maknae...

Sometimes, I wished Ryeowook was the maknae instead. So he had other reasons to care for me other than being the youngest...

I sighed. These thoughts were really weighing my heart down.

I continued to stare up at the fireworks, not really noticing how beautiful they were.

* * * * *

The fireworks tonight were superb. Amazing. Beautiful.

Too bad I couldn't appreciate it the way the others seemed to see it.

Kyuhyun... I just need to see you before this ends...

I tiptoed twice to see if I can recognize his stature. He might be the youngest. But man, that guy is tall. He's right next to Siwon's height now and to think that Siwon is the tallest among all of us.

But unlike Siwon, he's probably the weakest. He doesn't like showing it. He doesn't even talk to us about it. But that car accident affected his body in so many ways that it was impossible for him to do any strenuous activities.

All the more reason why I look out for him. I sighed as I remembered that time where everyone decided to play soccer during one of our trips. He wanted to play as well but I wouldn't let him. I knew I had no right to do that. Naturally, he got mad. Ignored me and stayed in his room for an hour. I remembered laughing silently at how he was such an adorable dork who was just like a little kid. Storming off to his room and all.

Sungmin and Ryeowook had to talk to me about it. Finally, I gave in. But he kept on shooting daggers at me after that as I played with him on his team. I was worn-out by the time the game ended as I made sure the ball or anybody else never slammed into him.

I laughed, reminiscing over those times. I made it a point now to protect Kyuhyun. Not because he was the youngest. But because he was someone I cared for. Someone I loved...

I'll find you Kyuhyun.

Before those fireworks end, I'll find you...

* * * * *

I whipped my head to the side in search of Leeteuk-Hyung when I felt a sudden whiplash coming on.

"Ow.." I muttered as I rubbed my hands at the back of my neck. Man. That hurt.

I had to be careful. My body wasn't that strong as compared to before. Most of the members knew that.

Leeteuk-Hyung knew that.

I remembered getting mad at him once for not letting me play with the others during a game of soccer. I was really pissed off. Who was he to tell me not to do anything?

But after I got in my room, my back started to hurt and I had to endure the pain for almost an hour just so he wouldn't know that he was right all along. I remembered walking out of the room as the pain passed and Ryeowook came up to me and said I could be on his team. I wanted to pass for real. I didn't want to risk my back getting hurt again in front of everyone. But I, Cho Kyuhyun, had my pride to look after so I did went out to play with them.

I was surprised to see Leetuk-hyung be on our team. I pretended to be mad at him but was very grateful at the end when he followed me around and kept everyone from slamming into me.

I guess, that was when I realized, that I could never think of him as a Hyung anymore. The way he cared... The way he gave me his attention...

But again, my pride was in the way...

I rubbed my neck again and stared at the fireworks only to realize it has stopped.

* * * * *

I glanced back up and saw that the fireworks had ended. People around me began to clamber up from where they were sitting and packing their stuffs.

No. Kyuhyun...

I rushed back to where I was walking earlier hoping to see that kid.

Aish... Seriously... Where the heck is he?

If I didn't get there in time when everybody started to pile out...

"Come on, unnie is waiting for us at the North clock tower..."

I glanced at the direction of where two teenaged girls were talking. North clock tower? North?

I went over to the nearest clock tower and peered at the sides. It read: South.

Damn it! I've been living here all my life and I didn't know there were different towers?

I ran towards the opposite sides of the road with a lot of effort. The streets were getting crowded now but I could already see the North Clock Tower. Hopefully, it was really the North one.

I'm almost there Kyuhyun... Wait for me...

* * * * *

I gripped my sides closer and I tried to hug myself without looking so stupid. I couldn't help it. The streets looked so crowded as before and I was getting all anxious. I know I had to move before I was swept away in this sea. But my feet wouldn't listen. No matter how hard I tried to budge it.

They're not coming... He's not coming...

I gulped down the heavy feeling that my heart seemed to get and tried to be sensible. I'll go home and wait for them at the dorm. I'll do that.

I tightened my hood. With a heavy heart but with more determination than before, I started to walk.

* * * * *

I ran as fast as I could.

I'm almost there...

The clock tower was getting closer and closer. But the crowd was multiplying and it got harder for me to get there.

Just wait for me Kyuhyun... Wait for me...

* * * * *

I started walking when I heard a little girl crying.

I turned around and saw that she was alone. I stared. Who would leave a little girl alone in this big over crowded place?

I walked towards her when her mother came and took the girl by the hand.

"Are you alright? I'm so sorry. Mommy won't leave you again. I'm so sorry." She took the little girl and they both hugged each other. I smiled. You don't get to see that sight everyday.

I thought of Leeteuk-Hyung again and how he's the parent of the group. I laughed silently. A sad laugh. He'll forever be just a parent. Leader-maknae relationship.

I fixed my jacket again and stood up, ready to walk out.

* * * * *

Where are all these people coming from?

It was insane. Everyone was walking in all directions. But I managed to reach the clock tower. I peered at the sign on the right and breathed a sigh of relief as I saw it was the South.

I looked around frantically.

Kyuhyun... My mind screamed.

But it was just impossible. Nobody seemed to stay put.

I'll find you....

I swear... I'll find you...

* * * * *

I couldn't believe it.

Not because the crowd seemed to multiply before I could even start walking.

Not because I was already surrounded by a bunch of people who were pressing their way into my path.

But because out of all the hundreds of these people, my eyes managed to spot that golden hairedperson that I was waiting for this whole time.

Leeteuk-Hyung... I whispered... You came...

I gaped at the sight of him searching around not even noticing that his hood already came off. All that was left of him were his specs and face mask that I knew people were bound to recognize him.

He's looking for me... I beamed. He is...

He was still looking around when I managed to push my way towards him. I stared at him.

I didn't want to wait for him to find me.

I found him instead.

* * * * *

Kyuhyun... I looked around. There was no sight of him.

The hell with this mess. I'm not going to accomplish anything just by standing here.

But before I could walk away in search of him, a hand gripped my arm and pulled my hood back in place

"What the-?"

"It's me."

I turned around.

There was Kyuhyun. Breathless and with cheeks flushed. But it wasn't the sight of how tired he was that made me surprised.

It was his smile.

* * * * *

I smiled at him. I wasn't mad. I wasn't angry. I wasn't upset.

He was here. I found him. I found him.

He stared at me with eyes wide open and before I could ask him what's wrong, Leeteuk-Hyung took me in his arms... The place where I belonged...

* * * * *

I didn't think about the people around us. I didn't care.

I hugged him as tightly as I could. I was shaking. With relief and with happiness.

He belongs with me. I'll never let you go.

Kyuhyun...

* * * * *

I basked in his embrace and the warmth I felt.

"I'll never let you go." He whispered.

My cheeks flushed.

"What?" I asked.

Leeteuk-Hyung released me.

"What?" He replied back with a shocked expression

"You'll never let me go?" I asked.

"Oh..." He looked up and whistled. "You heard that huh?"

I laughed.

* * * * *

I was so embarrassed. I should keep my thoughts in my head next time.

His laugh made me smile. I was confident I could do this now.

"Yeah. I'll never let you go. I'm so sorry..." I took him back in my arms. "I should've been more specific. I should've known how your brain works. Everyone knew it was the North Clock Tower but I know you think differently than the others."

"That's alright hyung. It was my fault anyway for not checking twice. I'm sorry too."

"I'm sorry"

* * * * *

I knew he was sorry. I was too. Hearing him say that he'll never let me go was enough for me to believe that he loved me. Not because I was the youngest. But because I was Cho Kyuhyun.

I closed my eyes and smiled under his embrace when a faint sound made me open my eyes back up again.

* * * * *

I don't believe it.

I thought it was finished.

But there it was. Fireworks.

People on the road stopped walking and pointed back up at the sky.

I released Kyuhyun from my arms and saw his mouth form an O as a beautiful jet of red fireworks caught his attention.

The fireworks were really beautiful. They looked so brilliant in the night sky.

Why there were fireworks right now, I didn't know. I didn't care. I didn't even look at them. No matter how beautiful they were, I was looking at someone else.

My eyes were transfixed at Kyuhyun and the sight of him.

Holding his hands tightly so as not to let him go, I knew that I had my own beautiful firework right here.

I'll never let you go, Cho Kyuhyun...

- end -